1
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,425
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,934
<i>INMATES: (SINGING) Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells.</i>

3
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,085
<i>Jingle all the way.</i>

4
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:29,131
<i>Oh, what fun it is to ride In
a one horse open slay, hey!</i>

5
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,718
<i>Jingle Bells,
Batman smells Robin laid an egg.</i>

6
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:38,974
<i>The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away!</i>

7
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,897
(JOKER CACKLING)

8
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:56,283
<i>Crashing through the roof
In a one-horse open tree.</i>

9
00:01:56,825 --> 00:02:00,996
<i>Busting out I go
Laughing all the wheeeee!</i>

10
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,456
(JOKER LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

11
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,545
ROBIN: Come on, Batman,
it's Christmas Eve.

12
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,881
Let's kick back and
get into the spirit.

13
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:14,426
BATMAN: The Joker's escaped
from Arkham Asylum, Robin.

14
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,846
And you really think he's gonna
make his move on Christmas Eve?

15
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,932
Even scum spend the holidays
with their families.

16
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,268
BATMAN: He has no family.

17
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,896
Okay, I'll make a deal with you.

18
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,359
If we go out on patrol, and Gotham
is quiet with no sign of the Joker,

19
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:35,238
we come back here, have Christmas
dinner and watch It's a Wonderful Life.

20
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:39,534
You know, I've never seen that.
I could never get past the title.

21
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,745
It's a deal, then?

22
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,205
Deal.

23
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,891
(JAZZY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

24
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,527
(BELL RINGING)

25
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,611
(come CLINK)

26
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:22,119
Doesn't it warm your heart to see
everyone in the spirit of Christmas?

27
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,169
Bah Humbug to you, too.

28
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:37,676
You just can't believe there's
no use for us for one night.

29
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,722
There.

30
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,769
Hey, lady, hold up.

31
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,856
You dropped this package
a couple blocks back.

32
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,609
Oh, it's for my grandson.
Thanks so much.

33
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,446
Merry Christmas.

34
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,949
Now can we go home?

35
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,705
He could give
lessons to Scrooge.

36
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,712
ALFRED: The Christmas goose
will be ready shortly.

37
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,841
You know, we really should've
done one more sweep of the city.

38
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,843
Now just relax, Bruce.

39
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,637
You're gonna love It's a Wonderful Life.
It's a great movie.

40
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,515
It's not relentlessly
cheerful, is it?

41
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,984
DICK: No,
it's about how much of a difference

42
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,020
one man can make to a city.

43
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:31,646
Sound familiar?

44
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,233
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)

45
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,029
Uh, wrong channel.

46
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,406
Some kind of Christmas special.

47
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:51,249
ANNOUNCER: It's a Wonderful
Life <i>will</i> not be seen this year.

48
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,335
<i>In its place is the following.</i>

49
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,757
<i>Joker here. Greetings,
Gotham, and merry Christmas.</i>

50
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:03,762
<i>I hope you're watching, Batman.
This one's for you.</i>

51
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,847
(CACKLING)

52
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,652
(PEDESTRIANS SCREAMING)

53
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,157
<i>JOKER: Live from Gotham City,</i>

54
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:28,912
<i>the show that nobody wants to
see but everyone will watch.</i>

55
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:44,219
Yes,
it's Christmas with the Joker!

56
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:50,058
<i>And now, let's welcome our
host, the Clown Prince of Crime,</i>

57
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,102
<i>the Joker!</i>

58
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,228
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

59
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,772
<i>Greetings from Gotham City.</i>

60
00:05:55,856 --> 00:06:00,360
And welcome to the <i>first</i> annual
Christmas with the Joker.

61
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,736
(APPLAUDING CONTINUES)

62
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,951
<i>Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.</i>

63
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,244
(JOKER CHUCKLES)

64
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,122
<i>Have I got a show
for you tonight.</i>

65
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:16,877
<i>It's loaded with surprises and
mystery guests and Christmas jeer.</i>

66
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,629
ROBIN: Well, Batman,
you were sure right about the Joker.

67
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,298
Any leads?

68
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,010
I've accessed Gotham's
electrical mainframe.

69
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,804
And I'm zeroing in
on the power surges

70
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,390
to pinpoint the location of
Joker's broadcast signal.

71
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,684
- (BEEPING)
- That's it.

72
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,979
I don't know, Batman,
it seems too easy.

73
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,148
BATMAN: It's never
easy with the Joker.

74
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,651
Oh, Batman,
I hope you're watching

75
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,447
<i>'cause I've got a very
special surprise for you.</i>

76
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,870
Rumor has it, Christmas is
a time to share with family.

77
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,039
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

78
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,083
And since I don't
have one of my own...

79
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,044
AUDIENCE: Aww!

80
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,255
I decided to steal one.

81
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,341
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

82
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:10,138
And here they are,
the awful Lawful family.

83
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:15,894
Aren't they just the cutest
family you've ever seen?

84
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,398
It's never easy with the Joker.

85
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:24,027
<i>Meet Daddy Lawful.</i>

86
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,447
You diseased maniac! I'll...
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

87
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,782
Hmm.

88
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,202
Looks like I'll have to
teach Daddy some manners.

89
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,956
And here's Mommy Lawful.

90
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:39,834
(GASPS) Help!
Somebody please help us. We...

91
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,086
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)

92
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,922
Ho, ho, ho. Isn't she jolly?

93
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,968
And here we have
little Baby Lawful.

94
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,428
Coochie, coochie, coo.

95
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,932
When I get my hands on
you, I'll rip your...

96
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,016
(MUFFLED SPEAKING)

97
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:59,729
I'll bet Batman wishes he
had a familyjust like mine.

98
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,315
Personally,
I think relatives are a bore,

99
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:07,195
so Batman can have them if
he can find them by midnight.

100
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,446
(AUDIENCE GASPS)

101
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,156
Otherwise...

102
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,408
(IMITATES THROAT SLITTING)

103
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,995
(JOKER CACKLING)

104
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,124
Hold tight, we're almost there.

105
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:23,420
<i>Hi, I'm Laffy,
Joker's helpful little elf.</i>

106
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:28,216
I'm here to present Batman with a
very special Christmas surprise.

107
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,093
Uh-oh, here it comes.

108
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:35,432
Gee, Joker, it's sure nice of
you to get Bat Breath a present.

109
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,435
Ho, ho,
I'm just that kind of guy.

110
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,853
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

111
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,148
It's an exact replica
of Gotham City.

112
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,235
It has everything,
even trains and bridges.

113
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:51,031
Bridges?
I just love blowing up bridges.

114
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,491
Well, in that case,

115
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,620
let's go live to Donner and
Blitzen at the President's Bridge.

116
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,206
<i>Greetings, Donner.</i>

117
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,085
<i>How about singing us a merry tune
while you blow up the bridge?</i>

118
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:05,754
Sure, boss.

119
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,467
<i>(SINGING) Jingle Bells,
Batman smells Robin laid an egg.</i>

120
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,730
That was great!

121
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,149
The fun has just begun.

122
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,944
<i>The 11:30 train will
be along any minute.</i>

123
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,323
(TIRES SCREECHING)

124
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,743
We've gotta stop that train.

125
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,954
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

126
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:45,210
Oh, look, Laffy,
Mommy Lawful has something to say.

127
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,670
What's up, Mommy?

128
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,547
My mother's on that train.

129
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,384
Your mother?
Well, that's different, then.

130
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,430
Yeah, it'll be even more
exciting when it crashes.

131
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,474
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

132
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,824
You uncouple the passenger cars.
I'll get the engineer.

133
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,388
(METAL CREAKING)

134
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,041
The bridge is out. Come on.

135
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,318
Bah Humbug.
I hate Batman and Robin.

136
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,653
Then let's get rid of them.

137
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,077
Oh, boy, let's build a snowman.

138
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,538
(CACKLING)

139
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,209
We've isolated the
Joker's broadcast signal.

140
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,794
It's coming from the
observatory on Mount Gotham.

141
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,144
BATMAN: There,
the radar antenna.

142
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:09,646
ROBIN: What's that?

143
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,817
Careful, Robin. I'm sure there's
more to this than meets the eye.

144
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,902
(RUSTLING)

145
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,782
<i>JOKER: Merry Christmas, Batman.</i>

146
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,409
<i>I'm so glad you could join us.</i>

147
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,620
What's your game, Joker?

148
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:29,666
<i>JOKER: Oh, just a little
holiday entertainment, Batman.</i>

149
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,587
I'm sure all the folks at home will
enjoy sharing this special occasion.

150
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:40,343
<i>Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
live from the top of Mount Gotham,</i>

151
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,513
the death of Batman.

152
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:56,526
When you care enough
to send the very blast.

153
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:02,699
We'll return in just a moment,
but first a word from our sponsor.

154
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,921
Robin, try and get
inside the observatory.

155
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,423
I'll draw its fire.

156
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:34,564
Whoops. Looks like we're
experiencing technical difficulty.

157
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,984
But don't worry, folks,
we're still on the air.

158
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:42,572
<i>Oh, no! Our cannon seems
to be out of control.</i>

159
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,284
<i>Gotham City could be
in serious danger.</i>

160
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,287
(TIRES SCREECHING)

161
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,249
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

162
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,429
(JOKERS CACKLING)

163
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,199
Batman, Robin here.

164
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,541
Robin,
Operation Cause and Effect.

165
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,710
Gotcha.

166
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,564
Batman?

167
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,110
I'm fine. But we're not any
closer to finding Joker's hideout.

168
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,736
What's our next move?

169
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,906
To be quite honest,
I don't know.

170
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,248
Batman, it's almost midnight.
We have to do something.

171
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,627
It's up to the Joker now.
Only a miracle can save the hostages.

172
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,548
<i>JOKER: Arrgh! Where's that Bat fella?
And that Robin fella?</i>

173
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,425
<i>Ooh, they're gonna
spoil my Christmas.</i>

174
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,928
<i>What's the matter?
Can't they figure anything out? Time's up.</i>

175
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,597
<i>I'm rubbing everybody
out at midnight.</i>

176
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:36,144
<i>But wait,
we have another present to open.</i>

177
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,231
<i>Let's not keep Mommy
Lawful waiting.</i>

178
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,652
<i>Too bad Batman is
such a party pooper.</i>

179
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,196
<i>Maybe he doesn't
know how to get here.</i>

180
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,032
<i>All dressed up
with nowhere to go.</i>

181
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:56,497
Well, I wonder what Mommy
Lawful is getting for Christmas.

182
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,543
Ooh! The suspense is killing me.

183
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:07,967
Is it? Can it be? Oh, yes!
It's a Betty Blooper doll.

184
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:12,263
And what do Better
Blooper dolls do?

185
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,266
Why, you just wind them up...

186
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,229
And they wreak havoc
on Gotham City.

187
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,690
(CACKLING)

188
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,819
I haven't seen one of
those dolls in years.

189
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,030
They don't make dolls
like that anymore,

190
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:34,118
not since the Laffco toy factory
went out of business 14 years ago.

191
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,954
Third and Main, downtown.

192
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,638
(TIRES SCREECHING)

193
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,616
Look sharp, Robin.

194
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,410
(LAUGHING)

195
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,129
(CLASSICAL CHRISTMAS
MUSIC PLAYING)

196
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,804
Where's that music coming from?

197
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,430
Good question.

198
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,224
(CACKLING)

199
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,275
BATMAN: Look out!

200
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,258
Stand ready. More on the way.

201
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,184
Stand clear, Robin.

202
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,707
They don't call you
"Batman" for nothing.

203
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,002
(GUN COCKS)

204
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,211
Snipers!

205
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,274
Where'd he go?

206
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,027
There he is.

207
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,953
- Huh?
- What?

208
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,040
Look out!

209
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,458
BOTH: Whoa!

210
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,711
<i>TEDDY: I love you very much.</i>

211
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,134
Keep your eyes
open for the Joker.

212
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,971
I'll save you the
trouble, Batman.

213
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:46,018
Come and get your Christmas
present, or the kiddies get it.

214
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,272
Let them go, Joker.
It's me you want.

215
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,818
Merry Christmas, Batman.

216
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:00,700
Well, go on, open it.

217
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,578
Don't do it, Batman!

218
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,163
Easy, Robin.

219
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,756
(JOKER CACKLING)

220
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,097
JOKER: Oh, I can't stand it.

221
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,572
Robin, take care of 'em.

222
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,285
(JOKER GROANS)

223
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,455
(JOKER LAUGHS)

224
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:52,042
Run, run as fast as you can.
You'll not catch me, I'm the Joker man.

225
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,253
(JOKER YELPING)

226
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,134
(GASPS)

227
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,222
Merry Christmas, Joker.

228
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,683
Bah Humbug.

229
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,694
It was nice of
Commissioner Gordon

230
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,781
to give you that recording
of It's a Wonderful Life.

231
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,450
And it is a wonderful life.

232
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,787
It has its moments.

233
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,247
(BELL TOLLING)

234
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,128
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)

235
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:39,507
<i>(SINGING) Don we
now our gay apparel.</i>

236
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:42,384
Fa-Ia-Ia, la-Ia-Ia, la-Ia-Ia

237
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,304
(CACKLING)

238
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,851
Merry Christmas.

239
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,982
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)