1
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,028
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:23,083
(CROWD SCREAMING)
3
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:57,993
(GRowL)
4
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,710
Missed me.
5
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,421
(GASPS) Hey!
6
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,304
- Quick. More bullets.
- Sorry, pudding, that was the last clip.
7
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,139
You know how expensive they are.
8
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,268
(GROANS)
9
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,479
Sounds like someone
turned off your cash flow.
10
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,940
If it's a flow you want,
I'm happy to oblige.
11
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,859
(JOKER CACKLING)
12
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:36,907
Doh!
13
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,283
My eye!
14
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,538
Sucker.
15
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,586
Come on!
16
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,712
(GLASS SHATTERING)
17
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,429
(TIRES SCREECHING)
18
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,642
Well,
that was a complete fiasco.
19
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,229
If we weren't so strapped for cash,
I'd never have touched this job.
20
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,649
- Give me the loot.
- Don't you have it?
21
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:15,737
Me? You were the last one to...
I thought I told you to get gas!
22
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,657
We're broke, remember?
What was I supposed to do,
23
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,034
fill the tank, shoot the
guy, and drive off?
24
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,452
Mmm-hmm.
25
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,038
Now you tell me!
26
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,711
(TIRES SCREECHING)
27
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,879
Whoops! Time to eject.
28
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,765
Hey, where's mine?
29
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,060
JOKER: Sorry, kiddo.
I could only afford one.
30
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,856
You cheap, penny-pinching,
pasty-faced creep!
31
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,984
I'll get you for this,
you lousy tightwad!
32
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,861
(SCREAMS)
33
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:06,580
A letter came for you
today, Mr., uh, Kerr.
34
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:10,125
By the way,
you're two weeks late with your rent.
35
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:12,794
Sue me.
36
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,925
(BUD AND LOU LAUGHING)
37
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:22,304
Alas, the bitter jest of fate.
38
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,349
The once-mighty Joker without
two nickels to rub together.
39
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:30,437
(BUD AND LOU WHIMPERING)
40
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,273
Yeah, yeah.
You're hungry, I'm hungry.
41
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,776
Do me a favor and eat each
other, will you?
42
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,533
"Dear sir, we regret to
inform you of the passing"
43
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,161
"of Mr. Edward, a.k.a.
'King' Barlowe..."
44
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,538
Ooh, there's good news.
I hated him.
45
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,292
"Who, in accordance with his last
wishes, has bequeathed to you the total
46
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:56,963
"$250 million"?
47
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,507
Whoo-hoo!
48
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,759
(CHEERS)
49
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,469
Good old King Barlowe.
50
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,555
I take back almost all the nasty
things I ever said about him.
51
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,183
- Mwah!
- (BUD AND LOU HOWLING)
52
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:13,855
Bud, Lou, our ship has come in, boys.
We're gonna spend, spend, spend!
53
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,858
And I know just what
we'll buy first.
54
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:20,695
If a man's filled with
glee, that man must go free.
55
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,949
RYDER: That was the scene
outside the city courthouse today
56
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,117
where,
after weeks of litigation,
57
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,495
the Joker's criminal
record has been wiped clean
58
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,873
by his one-time gangland
rival, King Barlowe.
59
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:36,753
As followers of this remarkable story
know, Gotham's most notorious criminal
60
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:40,465
was recently willed a huge fortune in
cash, jewels, and gold.
61
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,886
It doesn't make sense. King hated the
Joker, but he left him everything.
62
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,390
I was King's bodyguard for 10
years, and he left me zip.
63
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,641
(GROANS)
64
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,979
Armed with his newfound
wealth, the Joker put together
65
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:58,066
a pricey defense team to polish
his less-than-sterling reputation.
66
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,736
The Joker is not some animal
to be locked away in a cage.
67
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,072
He's a thinking,
feeling human being.
68
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,786
I subjected him to a thorough
psychological examination,
69
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,664
assessing his subconscious
reflex responses
70
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,417
to the most
provocative of stimuli.
71
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,628
And I can safely say he
is a criminal no more.
72
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,214
RYDER: How do you respond
to charges that Joker
73
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,216
is simply bribing
his way to freedom?
74
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,760
I won't even dignify
that with a response.
75
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:33,935
And there you have it. At this hour,
the Joker is not only a free man,
76
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,187
- but a wealthy one.
- There's justice for you.
77
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,524
Well, now that he's rich,
maybe he'll give up crime.
78
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:40,734
Argh!
79
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,777
Right. I'll call Dick.
80
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,993
You sure the Joker's inside?
81
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,412
Penguin's throwing him
a "going legit" party.
82
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,372
Sorry, we're full up tonight.
83
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,916
Shoo-shoo!
84
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,338
Gee, you'd never think
Penguin would turn away
85
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,381
the police
commissioner's daughter.
86
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:08,678
Egad, Gordon's brat. My dear Ms.
Gordon, how nice to see you.
87
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:13,308
Welcome, have fun.
And by all means, send the bill to me.
88
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:17,145
- Thank you, Mr. Cobblepot.
- Lousy little freeloader.
89
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,734
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
90
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,617
(SEA LIONS BARKING)
91
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:36,957
(CACKLING)
92
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:43,129
(CONTINUES CACKLING)
93
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:50,303
- What's the scheme this time, Joker?
- No scheme at all, old bird.
94
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,181
I'm free,
I'm rich and I'm loving it.
95
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,434
I'm sure old Batboy is
eating his heart out.
96
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,019
(CHUCKLES)
97
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,022
Living well is the best revenge.
98
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:04,859
(CLINKING)
99
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,075
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
100
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,201
All set?
101
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,997
Let's do it.
102
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,377
Everybody down!
103
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,670
(INDISCRIMINATE SHOOTING)
104
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,088
(CROWD SCREAMING)
105
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,675
BODYGUARD: Not you, clown.
106
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,929
I should have been the one
to get Barlowe's money.
107
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,932
At least I'll make sure
you'll never enjoy it.
108
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,817
I hope you've made out your
will, Joker.
109
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,068
(GROANS LOUDLY)
110
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,032
(GROANS)
111
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,991
- (GROANS)
- (GLASS SHATTERING)
112
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,630
(GRUNTS)
113
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,591
Ooh!
114
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,594
(SEA LIONS BARKING)
115
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,679
Well done, kiddies.
116
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:19,476
We were trying to save innocent lives.
You're just an unpleasant bonus.
117
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:20,727
(CHUCKLES)
118
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,481
Be that as it may, your grateful
Uncle Joker wants to thank you.
119
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,275
Here,
stick this in your piggy banks.
120
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,617
(LAUGHTER)
121
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,786
Let the good times roll!
122
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,831
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
123
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,921
(JOVIAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
124
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,485
(SIGHS)
125
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,280
You're pathetic, you know that?
126
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:59,492
Come on, Red. So Mr. J got a
little stressed over money.
127
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,620
Now that he's loaded,
pudding will buy my way out, too.
128
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,665
Yeah, right. Sure thing, Harl.
129
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,543
"Joker seeks new henchgirl."
130
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,173
HARLEY: (SCREAMING)
I'll kill him!
131
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,219
(DOG BARKING)
132
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,514
Hey, boss. Why didn't you buy
Harley a ticket out of the bin, too?
133
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,976
Now, now, Ernie.
Mustn't be too extravagant.
134
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,562
Besides,
it's cheaper to hire a new one.
135
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,481
Too fat.
136
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,401
Too small.
137
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,029
Too old.
138
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,536
No.
139
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,416
Darn!
140
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,465
Whoa!
141
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,847
Drown the kids and shoot the neighbors.
We've got a winner.
142
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:08,186
Whoo! Thank you, Mr. G.
I promise I'll be the best Harley ever.
143
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,855
- (GIGGLES)
- Maybe I should've hired the fat guy.
144
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,400
JOKER: Ernie, take Fake Harley
here and show her the ropes.
145
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,485
You got it.
146
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,404
FAKE HARLEY: This job
has a 401k plan, right?
147
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,074
- Sure.
- PERRY: Excuse me, Mr. Joker.
148
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,785
Sorry, the henchgirl
role has been filled.
149
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,245
And quite nicely, too.
150
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:31,084
Oh, no, sir. I'm not here for a job.
My name is Perry.
151
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,835
I'm from the Internal
Revenue Service.
152
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,796
Ah, yes.
153
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,298
Seems to me I've heard of
that little organization.
154
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,426
Then you must realize,
as Mr. Barlowe's sole beneficiary,
155
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,845
you owe us a tidy bit
of inheritance tax.
156
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:47,892
Now, $250 million minus Uncle Sam's
current state and federal percentages...
157
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,605
This should clear
up your account.
158
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,277
(SCREAMING)
159
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,237
A hundred and
thirty-seven million?
160
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,782
Yes, and if I don't pay up,
I'll go to jail for tax evasion.
161
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:07,912
I'm crazy enough to take on Batman.
But the IRS? No, thank you.
162
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,539
Ahhh!
163
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:16,713
- Hey, Mr. G, this money looks weird.
- JOKER: What do you mean?
164
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:22,760
It's a plain old pack of hundreds. See?
There's Ben Franklin's chubby little...
165
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,596
What? King Barlowe?
166
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,935
He's on this stack.
And this one.
167
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,271
He's on every one
of these thousands.
168
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,940
- I don't understand.
- ERNIE: Hey, boss.
169
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,278
I found this.
170
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,575
Hiya, Joker.
If you're playing this tape,
171
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,119
you probably figured
out you've been had.
172
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,663
Yeah, I left you some
cash, but only $10 million,
173
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,915
which, knowing you,
you've already blown.
174
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:58,129
All the other stuff, money,
jewels and gold, it's all fake.
175
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:03,551
See? I always hated your guts,
and this was the perfect payback.
176
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,429
By now, you're probably
out of real money.
177
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:10,308
The IRS is after you.
And you can't admit I fooled you,
178
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,686
or you'll be the laughing
stock of the underworld.
179
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:19,108
The joke's on you, sucker.
I got the last laugh after all.
180
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,195
(LAUGHTER)
181
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,698
(couemue)
182
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,368
(INHALES)
183
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,452
(GUNSHOT)
184
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,135
If I don't pay my
taxes, I'll go to jail,
185
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,846
but if I admit Barlowe duped
me, I'll look like a fool.
186
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,891
Maybe you could raise the cash by
pulling one of your classic routines.
187
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,061
- Like them laughing fish.
- Good idea, Ernie.
188
00:14:55,353 --> 00:15:00,400
Let's let Batman know I did it so he can
kick my keister right back into Arkham.
189
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,276
(GRUNTS)
190
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,361
(CRASHING)
191
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,655
Dope.
192
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,618
Fake Harley, any ideas?
193
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,829
Anything you say, Mr. G.
194
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,038
(LAUGHTER)
195
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:15,915
(GROWLS)
196
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,084
(GASPS)
197
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,585
No, boss!
198
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,755
(SIGHS)
199
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,174
Who'd ever think I'd
miss the real one?
200
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,301
(ALARM BLARING)
201
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,262
Harley Quinn's escaped!
202
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,682
GUARD 2: Seal all exits!
203
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,684
GUARD 1: Maybe she went
down the laundry chute.
204
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,454
GUARD 2: None of these yahoos are
crazy enough to pull that old stunt.
205
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,479
(SCOFFS)
206
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,817
Help, help! Ivy! Anybody!
Get me out of here!
207
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,861
(SOFT JAZZ PLAYING)
208
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:50,533
My dear Mr. Wayne, I'm delighted
to have you in my humble nest.
209
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,452
I thought I'd take
in the atmosphere.
210
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,245
(JOKER LAUGHS)
211
00:15:55,204 --> 00:16:00,209
Well, well, Bruce Wayne. Join me.
A bottle of your best, my dear.
212
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,546
- For my guest.
- You'll understand if I refuse.
213
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,674
The last time we met,
you tried to throw me off a building.
214
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:11,637
I did?
Well, that was so long ago.
215
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,473
It was last month.
216
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,693
Well, gotta be going.
217
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,493
This is starting to get to me.
218
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,455
- What?
- Should have used more makeup, Ernie.
219
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,373
(ERNIE YELLS)
220
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,710
BATMAN: Why the disguise, Ernie?
Where is he?
221
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,354
ERNIE: I don't know what
you're talking about!
222
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,506
He can't threaten my guests.
223
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,382
BATMAN: Let me jog your memory.
224
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,426
- ERNIE: No! (SPLUTTERING)
- (TOILET FLUSHING)
225
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,698
MAN: (OVER RAND) Armored car
one, report.
226
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:16,118
Routine money disbursal from
Gotham Mint proceeding as planned.
227
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,580
Good.
Your police escort is waiting.
228
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,262
(SHIP HORN BLOWS)
229
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,315
(ALL GASP)
230
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,650
Stop!
231
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,946
(CHOKING AND COUGHING)
232
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,125
No laughing gas, no grins,
233
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,836
no way Batboy can
trace this back to me.
234
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,298
ALL: Whoa!
235
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,678
Hey, keep the boat in the water!
236
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,723
This definitely wasn't
in the job description.
237
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,186
Ah!
238
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,030
It's been so long since
I've seen the real thing.
239
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,658
Hello, Ben, George, Abe.
240
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,411
(BATMOBILE ZOOMING)
241
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,582
No!
242
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,592
(GRUNTING)
243
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,386
(COCKS GUN)
244
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,512
(GRUNTS)
245
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,973
Ahhh!
246
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,186
(SCREAMS)
247
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,188
No! My fortune!
248
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,651
(JOKER GROANING)
249
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,621
Don't be stupid.
You can't save that money.
250
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:28,292
I don't want to save it,
I want to go with it. (SOBBING)
251
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,755
(GRUNTS)
252
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,218
You'd better call
your fancy lawyers.
253
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,719
Here.
254
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:39,970
(com CLINKS)
255
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,099
It's on me.
256
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,605
Honest, they told me
it was an equity gig.
257
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,161
Okay, get him out of here.
258
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,541
After all, it's only money.
259
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,084
(CACKLING)
260
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:13,212
So I'll let the taxpayers
foot my bill again.
261
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,298
Besides,
it'll be nice to see the old gang.
262
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,427
One of them's dying to see you
too, pudding.
263
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:22,263
- Harley?
- The one and only.
264
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,683
You... You don't know how
happy I am to see you.
265
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,102
Welcome to the club.
266
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,147
(CACKLES NERVOUSLY)
267
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,233
JOKER: Now, baby, I can...
Ow! Explain!
268
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,486
- (JOKER GROANING)
- (BLOWS LANDING)
269
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,242
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
270
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,310
English - SDH